Probably the sickest, most vile holiday ever thought of. Ever. I mean, not everyone has someone. Someone they could kiss and hug. Someone they could give horrible tasting chocolates and cheesy valentines cards to
Someone they could exchange I love yous with.
Yeah, they always leave out the bisexual guy that wears eyeliner and eye shadow. The guy who wears jeans that cling to his legs and shirts that have band names on them that no one has even heard of. The sixteen year old boy who wears one glove on his right hand and has HALLOWEEN tattooed across his knuckles. Well, that unlucky guy just so happens to be me.
Yeah, me. Probably the only person on the entire face of the planet thats alone on this unpleasant day. And I mean literally, alone. Not even my own mother is here. Shes off on some date with a guy I dont even know. How bad is that?
A mother cant spend a holiday with her only son? I dont blame her; I wouldnt want to spend a whole day with some weirdo freak loser that should probably have been out getting laid today. Who would?
I just want this day to be over so I can continue with my sad excuse of a life. Not that I want to. Im most likely going to end up dropping out of High School. My moms going to abandon me and Im going to end up on the streets while she winds up marrying some rich bastard. Ill be one the side of the road begging for money while she passes by in her 30,00 dollar convertible. Ill die old and alone in my own shit and piss. See? I have my life already planned out. Fantastic, isnt it?
What the hell?
I got up from the couch and walked over to the door, peeking out the peephole to make sure there were no guys waiting to beat the fuck out of me. There was no one so I opened the door, instinctively looking both ways, no one. I was closing the door when something caught my eye.
There on the mat was a red box, laced with a frilly pink ribbon on the edges and I Love You written in cursive smack in the middle in black. Placed conveniently beside it was a red envelope, my name written small and tiny in the middle.
Youve gotta be kidding me
I picked up the box, shaking it first, making sure no rabid rodent was going to jump up at me when I opened it. All I heard was shuffling and crinkling of paper. I placed the box between my arm and my body as I carefully opened the letter, holding the envelope in my mouth as I opened the card.
Ive been admiring you from afar,
Youve left my heart a painful scar,
Because I know you are the one,
One thing that cannot be undone,
I fear I am in love with you,
Do you think you love me too?
I only wish for you to think,
May our hearts beat in sync?
Will you be my Valentine, Frank Iero?
I held the card in my hands, reading the poem over and over, the lines embedding themselves into my memory. This has got to be a joke. There is no other way. Not even a possibility. I leant against the frame of the doorway, an innocent smile playing at the corners of my lips. Even though it was a disgusting, mocking prank card, I didnt care, someone actually took the time and effort to do this.
Someone wasted their time drawing amazing little hearts around the edges of the card, and I mean hearts not the stupid fake kind, actual hearts. Each one was different from the other and was detailed beautifully. Someone wrote me a poem, a poem, which I thought, was sweet. Someone actually made me want to love another human. If only that card were the real thing.
I backed into the house, my eyes never straying from the card, as I shut the door with my foot. I swayed my way to the couch as I gingerly sat on it, the cushions swallowing me up. I took the envelope from my mouth and slid the card in, placing it beside me as I set the box on my lap. My fingers were on the edges of the box, just about to open it, when the doorbell rang.
I slid up from the couch, placing the box where I use to be seated. I walked over to the door, not even looking out the peephole as I opened it. I opened the door, to see a boy, merely my age or older. Gorgeous boy at that.
He lifted up his head, his raven hair falling into place as it curled at his shoulders. His eyes met mine, and the sheer color caught me off guard. I smiled at him, not knowing why someone this beautiful was at my doorstep.
May I help you?
He nodded, bringing an arm from behind his back, and bringing it up front. A rose, sheltered in his hand, where I kind of wish my own was at. Wait, a rose? I tilted my head to the side a bit. Causing this unknown being to smile. And it made me happy. I wrapped a hand around his as he slid the rose into my palm. I brought it back to me, placing it against my chest as my eyes met with his again.
g-g-get my letter?
His confidence seemed to disappear as he spoke. He scratched at his head as a slight blush formed across his face. I nodded, twirling the rose amongst my fingers, never one my eyes straying from him as he picked at his jacket. So he was mister anonymous. If this wasnt a prank, maybe he actually felt that way.
Wh-What did you t-think?
He peeked up at me, before looking back down. His fingers picked a loose string from his jacket and threw it to the ground. All these little actions, all these words he spoke, it found a place in my head as I memorized everything. The way his hair wasnt slick straight and how it stood up everywhere, messy but amazing. The way he would close his eyes when he spoke, and the more confidence he seemed to gain when he wasnt looking directly at me. I memorized everything I could think about him, just because of the fear that I may never see him again clawed at my insides.
I loved it
He nodded his head and smiled. Kicking at the floor with his shoes. His eyes fixated on the rose at my chest, before looking back at up at me. He made my heart flutter inside. Ive never felt this way about someone. Never, in my entire life. Its this feeling, its hard to describe. Like, like, you just know. Its just there.You can tell the first moment you lay eyes on them. You can tell theyre the one.
I let my eyes wander from his, feeling my face flush and heat up.
Do you want to come in?
He nodded his head, and I could tell he felt more comfortable with subtle movements and gestures than actually speaking. I turned around and stood by the door as he walked inside, closing it as he stepped in. The entire room turned brighter the second he entered. The lights shimmered, illuminating his face and eyes. His dark hair shined. He sat on the couch and placed the heart box upon his lap, carefully moving the letter to the side. I sat beside him, pulling my legs up onto the couch as I crossed them.
He opened the box, taking a chocolate candy out; he popped it into his mouth, slowly chewing, before swallowing it. This fascinated me, oddly.
He didnt look at me and I didnt mind. His statement seemed to float above the ringing silence. Slowly dragging out before disappearing completely. That was fine for me too, Id spent endless years huddled up quiet and alone in my room, I wouldnt mind spending a couple more minutes quiet, with Gerard.
He plucked another from the box, instead of eating it; he placed it in front of my mouth, slightly smiling as we exchanged glances. I leaned forward a bit, taking the chocolate into my mouth as I bit it and pulled it from his hand, I ate it, some chocolate smearing on the side of my face.
He laughed, a musical sound, before he brought his thumb to the corner of my mouth, gently wiping the chocolate away, but not moving his thumb. And I was hypnotized. The steady beat of his pulse calmed me. His eyes were enchanting, they drew me in. His breath smelt of chocolate, as did mine.
I meant it
His face inched toward my own. My vision went blurry as my eyes tried to decide whether to stay open to witness what my mind thought was about to happen, or close and hope for it to happen and make the best of it, if it did indeed happen. They were lidded, halfway closed, when I spoke, just trying to break the silence.
They finally slipped close as his breath blew over my lips. I savored it, my lips tingling under the warmth. His parted lips not but a centimeter above my own.
His lips embraced mine, and it all fell into place. They way his lips fit with my own. Moving together as our jaws opened and closed, as our lips pressed and pulled. Every single thing in my life led up to this moment. This pure tranquility. This was the single thing Ive been waiting for, ever since I could remember, this serene sense of affection. The only affection Ive gotten since my parents split.
His hand slid down my cheek onto my shoulder, squeezing in a reassuring way as I laid a hand on his knee, not sure of what to do. My face went hot as he slipped a hand into the small of my back. I gained some guts and pressed my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
I pulled away, breathless, as did Gerard. He gently tugged me into his lap as his arms wrapped around my waist. I laid one of my hands up top of his palm as I slid my fingers through the openings of his own, and they fit perfectly. I kissed his cheek, and dug my nose into the side crook of his neck, still getting use to all this contact.
His vocal chords vibrated against my cheek and it calmed me. Almost luring me into sleep like a lullaby.
I think I love you too
I felt his smile against my head, pressing tiny kisses there as well.
And I knew everything I planned for my life wasnt going to happen. No, that one card, the card that let me knew someone actually cared, that one card would change my entire course of life. I wasnt going to end up on the streets. No, if I were to predict something for my future at this moment, it was far from that.
What I could guarantee was so many more kisses and hugs. Too may to count at that. Heart-shaped boxes full of fancy chocolates and cheesy Valentines cards. And every I Love You would be true, coming straight from our hearts. I just knew it.
Ok, maybe I was being a bit hypocritical.
Maybe Valentines Day isnt so bad after all. ❤